Fat Face Picks

It's time for the third annual edition of Fat Face Picks, a tradition that goes back... ahh!, three years, predating Left Nut Sports by one year.  Ray "Fat Face" Corrado, is a former sports books and self described college football expert. From the BCS to the jucos, Fat Face has his gravy stained fingers on     the pulse of the college game.

Fat Face is a total gambling degenerate, and every facet of his personal life lacks discipline and control. Fat Face is addicted to internet sports and internet porn, which of course makes him the perfect YAFL coach. He currently coaches linemen at juco independent,  BYU-Mexican Hat, (Utah) for Head Coach Sam Avard

With the season completed (the Danites finished at 1-10) Fat Face now turns his full attention to the bowl games. It's not like he has anything else to do, the nearest McDonalds is 37 miles away, and Coach Avard is a cruel task master.  Fat Face Ray has Dec. 15th. penciled in on his calender, the day when the McRib returns to Kayenta, Az....  Dream on Big Guy, Dream On.

Bell Helicopter Armed Forces    Rice vs. Air Force   Fort Worth      Dec. 29

Left Nut: This game is the best argument yet for keeping teams that finish 6-6 out of the bowl picture. This is the sixth straight bowl appearance for the Falcons. Dating back to 1938, Rice has played in nine bowl games and has a perfect  9-0 record to show for it. That doesn't bode well for Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody and his Flyboys        Phat Pick: Rice

Fat Face:  Boring piled on top of boring with extra boring added for good measure. Bad game but good swag, Sony gift suite (i.e. shopping spree) Fossil watch, Dakine backpack, Big Game football


New Era Pinstripe         West Virginia vs. Syracuse Bronx, N.Y Dec. 29

Left Nut: West Virginia jumped to the Big 12, only to wind up playing Syracuse of the Big East in the cozy confines of Yankee Stadium? Hard to believe that Geno Smith was actually in the chase for a Heisman Trophy, the 'Cuse won six of its last seven games.  Phat Pick: Syracuse

Fat Face:  Geno Smith is a joke, will this game be competitive? forgetaboutit and gethtefuckouttahere!  Swag kit includes a Sony video camera, Armitron watch, Balfour ring and more New Era gear than a swap meet.


Kraft Fight Hunger            Navy vs. Arizona State       San Francisco          Dec. 29

Left Nut:  The homeless will get fed, but everyone else will leave hungry for some real football. Assuming Navy beats Army, they'll have won 7 of their last  8 games. That's hella bad news for "Satan in the Desert" the last team that lost to USC in 2012.    Phat Pick: Navy

Fat Face:  Seriously Nut, I never leave hungry. It's San Francisco, they're bound to have some good eats at ..... where they playing this at, Kezar Stadium? The swag includes, Fossil watch, Nike FuelBand, FoxL wireless portable speaker system

Valero Alamo        Texas vs. Oregon State San Antonio    Dec. 29

Left Nut:  Will the Longhorn Network carry this game?... there's not a coach, player or fan in the Big 12 that isn't chortling about the Univ. of Texas dropping this low in the pecking order, LOL! Mack Brown is history if the Longhorns lose this one    Phat Pick: Oregon St.

Fat Face:  Excellent swag at this game, an Apple iPad mini, a Fossil watch, a panoramic picture of the bowl game and a Schutt mini-helmet, and don't forget the $100 Best Buy gift card as well


Buffalo Wild Wings       TCU vs. Michigan State             Tempe, Ariz.    Dec. 29

Left Nut:  Horned Frogs limped in at 3-5, after winning their first 4 games. MSU also went 3-5 over its final 8 games.  I think that's called an even playing field, parity or a Mexican Stand-off, what's it's not called is entertaining. Phat Pick: TCU

Fat Face: Now this is my kinda bowl game!  My personal record for eating buffalo wings  during a game (from kick off till the clock expires) is 221. That record is going down on Dec. 29th.  Swag is weak, not even a gift card for Buffalo Wild Wings.

Franklin American Mortgage Music City   NC State vs. Vanderbilt  Nashville, Tenn.Dec. 31

Left Nut:  How hard up for  a corporate sponsor can you be to pick a mortgage company  as tens of thousands of Americans continue to have their homes foreclosed on? Not to worry, The Kraft Fight Hunger bowl will feed them once they're homeless.  Vandy finished with six wins in a row   Phat Pick: Vanderbilt

Fat Face: I'm feelin' ya' Nut, I had my double wide repo'ed,  now I'm sleeping in the school's equipment room.  Swag includes..... seriously? like Franklin American Mortgage would kick in for freebies.

Hyundai Sun     USC vs. Georgia Tech El Paso, Texas    Dec. 31

Left Nut:  Kim Jong-il will have the entire bowl committee working in the coal mines by Jan. 1st... what? You mean it's South Korea?, my  bad. USC was the pre-season #1 pick (snicker) Trojans killed off any karma they had left by griping about El Paso & the Sun Bowl on Twitter. Phat Pick: Georgia Tech

Fat Face:  I love El Paso, you can walk down the streets knee deep in tacos. I'm just putting this out there, but I will box Mark Mangino if I see him on the street, those are my tacos goddamnit! Player swag includes a Helen of Troy hairdryer left over from when it was the Brut Sun Bowl in 2009... cheap bastards!

AutoZone Liberty    Iowa State vs. Tulsa   Memphis, Tenn.   Dec. 31

Left Nut: Tulsa is like the redneck Rodney Dangerfield of college athletics. Losing to Arkansas & SMU will get you no respect... I tell ya'  These two teams met to kick off the season, Iowa St. won that one, but they've gone into the tank since then.  Phat Pick: Tulsa

Fat Face:  Wonder if they'll sell car parts at the stadium, I need an alternator and brake pads for a 2003 Ford Probe.  Sol Republic Tracks HD Anthem headphones, a package of Nike gear (both schools are Nike sponsored) and a Bulova watch makes for some fine swag.

Chick-fil-A       LSU vs. Clemson     Atlanta      Dec. 31

Left Nut:  Fuzzy Zoeller called to remind the Chick-fil-A bowl not to serve fried chicken or collard greens or whatever the hell they serve.  LSU went from playing for a national title to a chicken bowl. The only suspense surrounding this game will be which passed out LSU fan gets teabagged this year.    Phat Pick: LSU

Fat Face: Who Dat playing in the Chicken Bowl?  Clemson has a Chick-fil-A on campus, it's one of their best recruiting tools. The swag bag includes, $300 gift card, Fossil watch, Russell Athletic travel bag, Chick-fil-A gift card

Clorox Toilet Bowl            Louisiana Tech  vs. Middle Tennessee St.   

Left Nut: La. Tech, with the nation's #1 scoring offense, The Air Raid  (which Sonny Dykes learned from Hal Mumme & Mike Leach) and Colby Cameron, this year's winner of the Sammy Baugh Award as the nation's top passer will not play in a bowl game. Why?, you could say that A.D. Bruce Van De Velde overplayed his hand in holding out for a more prestigious bowl game than the only one they got (the Independence Bowl) or you could blame the bowl system as Van De Velde is frantically doing while trying to cover his ass. 

Fat Face:  The Independence Bowl extended an invitation to La.Tech, but the thought of facing off against a perceived "inferior" instate school such as La.Monroe, led  to Van De Velde screwing the pooch.  La.Tech (9-3), who won the WAC title last year, is moving to C-USA. This led to Bruce throwing the corpse of the lifeless WAC under the bus. "We were in a league that had no say, no influence & no pull" 

Left Nut:  At least Middle Tennessee St. didn't blame their old conference (at least not openly) The Blue Raiders (8-4) are leaving the Sun Belt for C-USA and that may have played a part, as the Sun Belt lobbied for La. Laf, La. Monroe, Western Kentucky & Arkansas St.  

Fat Face:  The capper (or is that crapper) came when La.Tech head coach Sonny Dykes was named as the new head coach for the Cal Bears, meaning that the Bulldogs will never be relevant in football  again.  Since there is no actual game, there is no swag other than a big 'ol shitburger!