"It is an experience common to all men to find that, on any special occasion, such as the production of a magical effect for the first time in public, everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Whether we must attribute this to the malignity of matter or to the total depravity of inanimate things, whether the exciting cause is hurry, worry, or what not, the fact remains.... anything that can possibly go wrong, does."
The perceived perversity of the universe has long been a subject of comment and if ever you're in need of evidence that Murphy's Law does in fact exist, then you need look no further than The Oakland Raiders professional football club.
The San Diego Chargers have a way of bringing out the worst in the Raiders, this goes back to the AFL. The Al Davis-Gene Klein feud, resulted in a San Diego Superior Court jury finding Al Davis responsible for a heart attack suffered by Klein (then the Charger's majority owner) The suit alleged that Al had hounded Gene with frivolous lawsuits, leading him to suffer a heart attack in 1981. Before a more sensible court, the verdict was overturned on appeal. San Diego football fans never forgot or forgave and both sides hunkered down, prepared to hate one another forever if necessary.
As the old school Chargers were fond of saying, "If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it must be the Raiders" When the Raiders moved to Los Angeles, the Bolts quickly found themselves relegated to second class status, which only stoked the flames of the bitter rivalry. Oakland ended the 2011 season losing to The Chargers at home and thus missing out on the playoffs. Now, they open the 2012 season against San Diego with those memories still intact, but seemingly rebuilt and restructured, better than they were before, better... stronger... faster!
What always bothered me about the Six Million Man, is that he had all these bionic parts implanted (he had an arm with bulldozer strength) yet they were all attached to flesh and bone. The Raiders have a bionic running back (DMC) a kicker (Janikowski) a kick returner (Ford) a receiver (Moore) and a punter (Lechler) that are held together by frail human elements.The human factor can never be fully discounted in athletics. Travis Goethel was called on to perform in a machine like manner, but there is no accounting for the unpredictable nature of human error.
It's not easy!, but that's basically all that Condo does.... it's his one skill. I'm willing to bet that it's something he can do in his sleep, drunk, blindfolded or while showing mild concussion symptoms. Imagine that you're Goethel, a man who rarely gets to play and then only to spell Rolando McClain. You're chilling on the sidelines and long snapping is the furthest thing from your mind, as replacing the long snapper was seemingly the furthest thing from Special Teams coach Steve Hoffman's mind as well.
Due to roster limitations, NFL teams don't carry backup long-snappers. Some poor sucker is usually taught the basic skills, just in case he's needed. Goethel had not long snapped during an actual game since high school. I don't blame Travis Goethel, Murphy's Law jumped up and bit him on the ass. Fucking Murphy, I fucking hate you... as I hate Chris Berman, who chortled "Jon Condo the long snapper appears to be injured" this was followed by a chorus of burps & chuckles "this could spell trouble for the Raidas"... Fuck you Berman!
Oakland came out ready to usher in "a new era of excellence" then Rb. Taiwan Jones fumbled the opening kick-off (he later mishandled the toss on a reverse from Fb. Marcel Reece) The offense recovered from that hiccup to execute a well scripted drive that took them 56 yards down the field. before rookie Rod Streater fumbled after a catch. The Raider passing game never really recovered from that miscue, drives sputtered out and then Jon Condo got hurt, crippling their punting game. An observation, Darrius Heyward-Bey is not and never will be a reliable clutch receiver.
"Got to eliminate the self-inflicted wounds," rookie head coach Dennis Allen said. "That's the thing that hurt us in the preseason and obviously hurt us tonight." Ha! what Raider head coach hasn't said that over the last ten years. Nate Kaeding (coming back from an ACL injury) connected on five field goals for fifteen points, the saving grace for a San Diego offense that failed to impress either with talent or effort. Three of Kaeding's field goals came as a direct result of the Raiders long snapping problems.
Emergency replacement Travis Goethel rolled two snaps to Shane Lechler, leaving him unable to get off a punt, and a third punt attempt was blocked. Take away those nine gimme points and you have a totally different ballgame. Carson Palmer completed 32 of 46 passes for 297 yds and one touchdown (a two yard flip to Rod Streater) Darren McFadden caught 13 passes for 86 yds. but DMC could only manage 32 rushing yards on 15 carries. Two yards per carry is about average for most Raider running backs, but it's below par for McFragile.
The Oakland defense, having earned so much scorn in 2011 did a commendable job on Monday night. The defense held the Chargers to just 32 yds. on 20 carries and just one Td. But, at times even that stout unit stumbled, San Diego drives were aided by Raider penalties, Tommy Kelly was penalized twice on one drive, giving San Diego a first down both times. That eventually led to The Chargers sole touchdown. The more some things change, the more they stay the same, that's what I call Raider Law. Ducks and Bolts, same as it ever was!
Raider Notes:
There was a moment of silence for former NFL owner Art Modell, fallen highway patrol officer Kenyon Youngstrom and former Raider Tom Keating. Known for his distinct four point stance, Keating played for the Raiders from 1966-72. He was a teammate and close friend of Ben Davidson, who passed away two months ago. Keating was a first-team AFL All-Star in 1967 and played in the AFL All-Star Game in 1966 and 1967. He was a starter on the 1967 AFL Champions Raider squad, who went on to lose to the Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl II.
Jacoby Ford is expected to miss a "significant" amount of time, as he's scheduled for foot surgery. He could be placed on the injured reserve recall list, if he still has a chance of making a contribution this season. Starting CB Ron Bartell suffered a broken left shoulder blade and will be sidelined for as long as six weeks. Pat Lee is his backup and is expected to move into the starting lineup against Miami. Bartell, a free agent, suffered a neck injury in the season opening game of 2011 while with The St. Louis Rams and missed the remainder of the season.
The NFL confirmed that the Raiders should have been given an "untimed play" at the end of the game on Monday night. "The Chargers punted to end the game, downing the ball at the Oakland five yard line. However, because they touched the ball first, Oakland was entitled to a final play under league rules" Coach Allen said he was aware of the rule, but was not informed by the officials that San Diego had touched the ball first, so he didn't plea his case for one last play. As it stood, Oakland needed to go 95 yards and then make a two point conversion to tie the game and send it into overtime. An improbable scenario at best.
Stefen Wisniewski was active on Monday but did not play, Alex Parsons started at center and he may have the starter's job sewed up. Coach Allen is "very hopeful" that Denarius Moore will be back for Sunday's game against the Dolphins. Jon Condo suffered a concussion and won't play against the Dolphins unless he's cleared by doctors. The last word on Travis Goethel comes from an unlikely source, The Onion, a satirical newspaper known for its "faux" new reports published an article two years ago that that said "Goethel was drafted to start the beginning of the season at realtor, but at least that was far better than being asked to switch to car dealer, casino greeter or long snapper"
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the tears start once the handcuffs go on
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