Fear of a Black Hat

Raider Nation is known to  suffer from jingoistic spasms of misguided xenophobia. Most Raider fans take any form of criticism as an insult and respond with the lowest form of low brow vulgarities. To critique the team in any manner is to open the door to all forms of abuse. The same holds true for Al Davis, a fact I discovered after posting several comments on Raider forums calling for Al Davis to step aside, in order for the team to move forward. The immediate reaction was brutal. 

The truth is, that the team has been in a perpetual funk and downward spiral since losing the Super Bowl in 2002 a year after the departure of John Gruden. Anyone who believes that Al Davis was still fully lucid, need only look at the Lane Kiffin/Jamarcus Russell era to know that the man was coming undone.  Actually the dementia started setting in when he "traded" Jon Gruden to Tampa Bay. This unprecedented move scored four draft picks for the Raiders, but left most NFL observers wondering about Al's mental health.

No matter how loyal you are to your favorite sports team, you have to be capable of taking a cold, hard look at both the good and bad. For every well informed, realistic and cynical Raider fan, who has suffered through the travails and pitfalls of  a succession of seasons that did not meet expectations, there are 10 Raider fans who can't name the offensive or defensive coordinators.  Many couldn't tell you who the head coach is, yet on the forums they're probably the ones posting "Raida Nation 4 Life" or "All U hatas can suck a dick"  

Deadspin and Drew Magary have a unique take on the sports world. There are no sacred cows, every pro team or athlete is a target for a  full broadside from the Deadspin staff.  Deadspin is affiliated with Gawker and shares the same editorial tone, which is to say that they are sarcastic, humorous and often critical of the pro sports mainstream. Drew Magary is my favorite sports writer, (that is, when he gets around to writing about sports and not about being a daddy and baby names)  To hear people talk you would think that Drew Magary works with profanity the way Gallagher works with watermelons. 

Sure, he drops a few f-bombs, but they're smart bombs... don't be fooled. Magary's dumbing down can't always hide the fact that he knows his subjects well.  At the present time, he's finishing up his "Why Your Team Sucks, 2012" series. Magary as usual, is brilliant as he takes a hammer to every team in the league with equal  aplomb and enthusiasm. This fact went over the heads of not just Raider fans but pretty much all fans of every team in the NFL. Like South Park, it's funny until Drew puts the blowtorch to your team.

He got to The Raiders early and weathered the resulting shit storm of bodily threats and insults with ease.  Magary as he often tends to be, was right on the money... whether we as Raiders fans like it or not.  Most fans responding to Drew ask why there's so much hate directed at their teams. To them I say "Welcome to Deadspin and to the art of satire" There's a major difference between hate and satirical lambasting, if you don't get it, then what the fuck are you doing reading Drew Magary or Deadspin? 

Here's a sample  of his post, followed by the rebuttals sent in by a handful of Raider fans. I reprint this without any authorization or permission.

"Why Your Team Sucks, 2012, Oakland Raiders"

1. Al Davis died six months too late. Actually, probably six years too late. No wait, make that 10 years too late. Frankly, we could just keep going back in time and continue improving the world the earlier Al Davis is done away with. But for the sake of THIS season, let's consider what would have happened if the old man had died in early 2011. Hue Jackson would have been replaced immediately, or his front office power would have been severely limited in his first season.

But instead, the old man hung around picking at his forehead scabs until October, which left Jackson in charge to make horrible trades as he pleased, right before being replaced with a potentially functional GM/head coach combination in Reggie McKenzie and Dennis Allen. Jackson's giveaway for Palmer leaves McKenzie and Allen in a hole that will take them at least another year to dig out of. They're stuck with a starting QB (Palmer) they don't want and a project QB (Pryor) they don't want.

2. Puffy Vest 4 Life. Matt Leinart is the kind of player who signs with the Raiders and causes people to be like, "Whoa hey, maybe he'll go to Oakland and suddenly be good JIM PLUNKETT JIM PLUNKETT RABBLE RABBLE." Shut up. Go away. The idea of any player being magically rejuvenated because he came to Oakland is an old and tired myth. It's one of the many things about the Raiders that are old and tired—from the stadium to the Black Hole to the slogans. Also, Matt Leinart is fucking horrid.

3. Darren McFadden only likes the beginnings of things. God, he looks so good at the beginning of a season, doesn't he? Running for big yardage and turning little swing passes into long touchdowns and looking like a legitimately healthy player. Then Week 6 arrives and it all goes to SHIT. Darren McFadden has never played a full season in his four seasons as a pro, and the worst part is that the Raiders let Michael Bush walk after the season. Bush ran for more yards in the second half of last season than McFadden did in the first, and somehow the Raiders were still stupid enough not to re-sign him. 

4. The defense is somehow even shittier. This was the 29th-ranked defense in football last season, and now they've lost pass rusher Kamerion Wimbley and CB Stanford Routt. Linebacker Rolando McClain, one of the few decent draft choices in Davis's twilight years, will begin the season in jail.  Peyton Manning could have a tumor with eyes growing out of his neck and throw for 400 on this outfit.

5. You Raider fans aren't as tough as you think you are. Despite my admiration for Raider Milt's commitment to skullfucking bitches, there's nothing worse than Oakland fans who somehow think their team's history and choice of black apparel makes them magically more intimidating than any other NFL team. Even after a decade of almost impossible dysfunction, many Oakland fans somehow believe that their team ... their LIFE ... is somehow significantly more hardcore than fans of another team. And the worst part is that handfuckers like Berman go on the air and continue to perpetuate this bullshit mythology, specifically so that moron Raider fans will gobble it up like the steakheads that they are. You're nothing special, Oakland fans. You never have been, and now that Al is finally dead and buried, you've lost your one lame excuse to pretend you are.

 Drew Magary writes for Deadspin and Gawker. He's also a correspondent for GQ. Follow him on Twitter @drewmagary and email him at drew@deadspin.com. Drew has also authored two books, Men With Balls and The Postmortal.

That article elicited some rather interesting comments: 

Yes, Raiders fans are as tough as we are portrayed on TV, and other media outlets. Have you actually even attended an Oakland game and tailgated? If you have not, then keep it down before we eat you alive and sell your remains to someone in the parking lot. Tony Noriega

Yes, the game had clearly passed Al by. He should have retired about 20 years ago and let either Ron Wolf or Ken Herock take over; both men went to other franchises and built Super Bowl teams. As for Palmer: Hue panicked at the thought of Kyle Boller being our starting QB and overpaid for CP. The Real Raider Duck

lol noriega tony....i go to niners games man, iv even been to raiders games. niners games are actually just as rowdy as raider games...exact same shit but with a sprinkle of class. Hooplah

Actually Drew, Raiders fans ourselves have been insisting for years that the tough guy hype is a joke. That shit has been dead for at least fifteen years. It's now just a lazy stereotype employed by bad sportswriters, racist dipshits, and middle-aged dudes who have never come to grips with how scared they got every time they encountered somebody wearing a Raiders hat in high school.  Taint Nuttin

I know you'll find this typical, but I mean this with all sincerity: come see a game in Oakland, and tell me that the fan base is no different than any other in the league. The only instances in which that many convicts congregate in one place is behind bars, seriously. Calamander 22

The coolest thing about Raider fans is that we actually don't give a sh!t what people think and love being one of the most hated fans in sports so fire away haters your comments will only amuse me!!    BroncoFan (ed. note... Wha?.... Bronco Fan?)

Raiders fans (also known as "recent parolees", or "the gardeners") are predicting another scintillating 8-8 season this year. That kind of naïveté could make them Cubs fans. (this comment was pulled by Deadspin)

Another feature at Deadspin is Dead Letters, where readers can send in their scathing retorts and comments. A few Raider fans did just that. At least ric mag77 didn't call Drew Magary a "scared coward" JJ Melo is a Raider fan who claims he subscribed to GQ for many years, but he will not be renewing this year thanks to Drew. (If he's been reading GQ for many years, then he would know all about Drew Magary by now... or maybe he just gets GQ for the pictures?)  Spencer Goin went too long, he started out calmly stating his case and wound up bug eyed and spraying the walls with spittle.

From: ricmag77

To: Drew Magary

Check this out drew, i know that everyone is entitled to there own opinion and the whole freedom of speech thing, but sometimes you just need to keep that trap closed and go about your own business, atleast thats how i was tought. Who are you? Seriously, who the fu@* are you?  You got some balls talking about a deceased person, when you mention Al Davis or the Raiders make sure to wipe your mouth dick, as a matter of fact i dont think your even worthy enough..go to oakland mf and talk all that mess, dont hide beind a computer and talk shit you fucken coward.....RAIDER NATION TILL I DIE MF!!

From: JJ Melo

To: Drew Magary

So can you do a better job running a NFL football team? I am extremely disgusted about what you wrote and are writing about the Oakland Raiders. How can you judge Oakland Raider fans and the organization that you know nothing about except from what you hear from the media. So what do you know about me? Wait, let me answer that for you.... I'm a "parolee" or maybe a "lowlife" or even better I just go to the games so I can tailgate, get wasted and start a fight.  I have been reading GQ for many years and was going to resubscribe, but now I will be boycotting the company that you write/work for. Tomorrow when I start my work shift at the hospital I will be sharing my discuss with my fellow coworkers. Its a shame, because I enjoyed the magazine and I know most of my coworkers will miss reading it as well. I will also spread the word to the Doctors that I assist.

From: Spencer Goin

To: Drew Magary

There is one correct statement in this article and its that al davis died to soon. He was a genius earlier on and it all went down hill after 2001, the year he traded john gruden. up until that point the large majority of his decisions were good ones. At that point at the end of the 2001 season the raiders had the best winning percentage of any professional sports franchise.

 Your a fucking idiot if you think anyone that is a part of raider nation thinks matt leinert is going to become the next jim plunkett or even ever become a starter again in the nfl. The raiders simply brought him in as a back up and to help the rest of the quarterback learn gregg knapps offense. 

Now the final issue your a fucking dumb ass if you think the raiders fans aren't the most intense mean intimidating fans in the league if you dont believe me i dare you to walk your stupid ass into the black hole and make the statement about raider nation that you just did. i promise you you'd be put in the hospital for the disrespect you showed at our home we dont need to have the nicest most up to date stadium you i and the rest of the football world know if you come in to our sanctuary and show that kind of disrespect you'll get fucked up. 

So in closing dont talk about shit you dont know about and please please please try to come to a raiders game and talk shit like you just did so you can see what the raider nation is all about. Now go fuck yourself

"Sweatshirt, khakis and crokersacs, Stop givin juice to the Raiders, Cause Al Davis never paid us....  I hope he wear a vest"  Ice Cube, a Raider fan had beef with Davis, or so it seemed. I always took that line from "The Wrong Nigga to Fuck With" to mean that bangers (and other fans) shouldn't blindly serve as walking billboards by sporting Raider gear. (A message that fell on deaf ears)Though, in the case of the Raiders the free advertisement delivered the wrong message. 

For years, old school Raider fans had to answer the stupid question of "Are you in a gang or are you a football fan?" Over the years, what it means to be a Raider fan has changed. In the early days of the AFL and on through to the mid 1970s, the Oakland fan base consisted of blue collar, hard drinking, no nonsense guys who didn't have to act tough.  That changed once the team moved to Los Angeles, upon returning to the Bay Area, Chuckymania took hold and now every home game is Halloween.

Are Raider fans the toughest in the NFL? Only some kind of reality show contest where fans from every team and city would square off in battle can decide that (wink, wink NFL Network)  Are Raiders fans  more prone to violence before, during or after the game, than other NFL fans? The answer to that, Mr. Magary is yes, more so while the Raiders were in Los Angeles, where you kept your head on a swivel while tailgating.  Wearing a rival jersey was an invitation to an assault,  as one sad sack Steeler fan found out the hard way.